It’s a topic that nobody in Portugal was able to pass by, the death of a 24 year old football player on the field… live on TV.
It’s something that makes you think…all the problems, all the adversities, all that is so insignificant, and at the same time it’s what gives life a meaning, it’s because of details that my life is different of any other’s life, it’s because of details that I’m different of everybody… that I unique.
And in the end, those details don’t mean a thing, when we are dead, all that we’ve done is forgotten, and only the closest ones will remember us. In 200 years nobody will remember the same details that made us unique.
Life is such an ephemeral thing, it’s so fragile that it frightens me… but I won’t be more careful with it, I refuse to stop living just because someone is dead, just because someone’s death made me realise the fragilness of life it doesn’t mean that I have to die to.
But it made me think… on one second he is smiling, on the next, a body without life is falling forwards the grass… sudden death they called it, I don’t know what is it…but I got even more chocked when they said they didn’t found nothing on the autopsy… He’s body was OK, no dysfunction, no cardiac problem, nothing, he just died.
After a week thinking of it, I’ve decided to let it go, thinking or not death is everyday closest of everybody, let’s just hope that it takes a long time to get to us.

Humankind what a foolish kind…
We invented the photography so we could keep forever moments that in the next instant would vanish. But we rarely use it, we usually use it to keep invented moments, pretended moments and staged moments. Don’t 90% of your photography’s have been taken the instant after you hear something like: smile; say cheese; say whisky or other thing that would make you appear in the photo with a huge smile? Why can’t we have photos of us crying? Or during a row? Or a when we are with the blues… Why do we always have to appear with that stupid fake smile? Aren’t you able to choose from all the photos you have, the ones that wore taken when you wore really smiling? Can’t you see? Can’t everybody see? Is it so difficult to distinguish the fake smiles from the true ones?
I don’t believe it is… even in photos.
But everybody is free of taking photos of whatever they want… just don’t annoy me every time you see a photo taken by me where the person that is caught in the photo is not smiling.

I once read that “the human mind is infinite … and genial”. And after reading this I stopped to think about the genial things the human mind has done… well the list is also infinite but it’s not all good. We have the fire, the well, the vaccines and many other things in many different times. We also have atomic bomb, pollution, war, CFC and many other things that are product of brilliant minds, but… aren’t at all brilliant for the humankind…
After this short reflection I read the sentence again and it said: “The human creativity is infinite, perverse, maquiavellian, its genial”. Looks like the author of this sentence was right and that I read it very bad.

Reading has always been one of my favourite hobbies… but unfortunately I have lost the habit of reading… I read, of course but I was a compulsive reader, and I lost that compulsivity… it’s a pity... but I still like to read, and I still read a lot, unfortunately (again) the majority of the books I read aren’t about computers… and my course is about computers…

In the 9th grade I took a skill/aptitude test, it said that I should be in something to do with literature, history or geography… it was then clear to me that I would go to science… I believe that nobody has the knowledge to say to you what to do with your life… I also believe that you should hear all the advices that are given to you, but advices are not laws… and you’re not obliged to obey them… They exist to help you decide, when you have doubts and when you trust the person that gives you the advice… but I know a lot of people that take advices like laws, this same persons follow fashions as they haven’t got any taste of their own, and take the opinion of the authors they read as if it was their own… I don’t understand why somebody should do such a thing, it looks has if they didn’t mind not having their own opinion... It’s obvious that when a new fashion is out, you have the tendency of following something’s of it, the things you like, not everything, when you read an article and you agree, you may use some of the ideas read on a future conversation, but it should always have your identity, your fingerprint. We all should try to by authentic.