Change

The scope of this blog has changed. I'll not publish any more texts about what I feel, and my thoughts about those feelings.

This happens because I don't want to think more about it. I'm trying to be happy by ignoring my feelings, because they are often impossible to turn into reality.

I'll be writing in the future about books, music, films, and trips... hope the readers of this blog will continue to follow it.

Alone

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Edgar Allan Poe

Clear Sky

It's incredible how something so complicated, as what I was felling and thinking during the last two weeks, transforms itself into something so simple.

It's kind of crazy to go against what you feel, but it's even more crazy to go against what someone else feels... better... not even more, it's impossible to go against the feelings of another person!

So I just have to adopt the same approach I've been using for, well... for since I can remember... I'll just let it be!!!


PS : It's still to me a mystery why I get so relieved when I decided to do nothing about something...

The same old topic

I just keep asking myself. How could I have let this happen?

I don’t get it. We are the most advanced form of life on this planet, and still... we’re unable to control what we feel. What do I have to do so I’m able to decide what I feel?? Come on... it’s just a bunch of biochemical reactions...

Alexandra Soumm

So I've got so much in my mind that I just want to write a millions words. Doing that would probably left a few people angry and a lot of people sad.

So I've been escaping in the last week or so to music, and during the weekend I found this:

Feelings

Talking about my feelings with somebody is something I don’t usually do (although lots of people think I do, because I normally express my opinion about things that happen very close to me). I’m not a very “sharing” person either, you could even say I’m shy (probably again, lots of people laughing).

But eventually one has to confide to someone their feelings in search of a little comprehension and also some advice.

That’s what I’ve done. I’ve confide to a very good friend of mine, that knows me for a long, long time. I said what I felt about a particular aspect of my life and then said what I intended to do about it (which is nothing... I’ll just stay low and wait... I think eventually what I feel will change).

I admit I was hoping for a reassuring attitude from that friend... hoping that my line of thought would be understood and supported...

Well! It wasn’t, my friend thinks that doing nothing about any felling anyone has is preposterous. That taking risks is what life is all about, that you have to fight for what you want or you risk ending up never having what you want.

So I’m in a dilemma. On one hand, I can do what I think is right (which is nothing), on the other I can take the advice I’ve received.

In reality I know I won’t take the advice, I don’t like to take risks, even if they give me the chance of achieving what I want... I probably won’t do it because I do not have enough courage... but I really wanted my friend to share and support my decision!

Ps: My autobiography of Nelson Mandela has arrived!!!! I can’t wait to read it!!!