Foolishness should pay tax… and I would be one of the poorer guys on earth :-D
Today I went to the gym as usual but the time I spent there was in no way near what it usually is. I felt without strength, without energy. After an hour of trying to fight my apathy I went to the bike… and as I wasn’t making the level of effort I normally do, I decided to pedal 5 more minutes. Of course the stupidity came with a price; When I finished the bike I felt like I was about to faint. I thought… well a little of water and I’ll be all right. I went to the locker-room and drank a little water but right there my body decided I shouldn’t be aloud to decide more stupid things… and so I had to sit down for a long while. Only while sitting there trying to understand why the hell wasn’t I in normal shape did I remember… I forgot to have the afternoon snack… so I didn’t had anything to eat in about 5 or 6 hours.
I grabbed a snickers from the vending machine and came home wondering how is it possible to a person to forget a meal…

My personal ambitions! I’ve written before about them here, but I’m returning to the subject without a specific reason or purpose. I don’t know why, but maybe writing about them makes me understand them better, or at least think about them.
I don’t have what “normal” people have; I don’t have a defined vision of myself in ten or twenty years. There are things I would like to accomplish in a few years but those things aren’t at all restricting about most (or all) things that will happen in my life in that same future.
I would like to achieve professional success, but I still maintain a very broad view of what I would like to work on. I would like to have a house near the beach, but I still don’t know the answer of whether I’ll be living there alone or with someone. And even the things I would like to achieve are very flexible, for example: Yes, I would like a house near the beach, but I know I would also be happy in an apartment on the centre of Lisbon, as long as I’m able to retain my way of “being” I think I’ll be happy in any environment, in any place, with almost anybody… at least that’s how I like to think about my future hopes and dreams.
Oh, I know… people say: There he goes again, trying hard to look simple. But the truth is that I don’t try hard, and I doubt that I’m simple. But I like to take one day at a time and hate planning in the longer run. I don’t like to impose myself specific goals that in the end may interfere with something I’m doing or accomplishing. If I’m able to act accordingly to this rule, I think it will be easier to be happy and fulfilled with my life.

In the last few days I’ve found myself wondering what it would be like to be lonely. Yes the word has a negative connotation but I don’t mean it in a negative way. I wonder what would it be like to live alone, walk unrecognised in the street, work in a place where nobody gives a damn who you are or even what’s your name.
I know that sounds like a very dark and even kind of gothic thought, but everybody needs their time alone… so what if you could take it without having to change your life?
I think I would like that…
Abstain myself from talking for a couple of days… contrary to what people think, I know, wouldn’t depress me or even make me sad… I know I would regain energy and joy. Don’t know how to explain it, but I sure know it’s true.
I wish there was a way!

Hurts to Purr… I heard some of its music in their myspace and I fell in love with their work. It’s awesome.
And the lyrics are so simple… it is what they say.
Less is more.
Here is the lyric of one of my favourites :

I didn't mean it – Hurts to Purr

I didn't mean it
I didn't mean what I said
now I'm lying here
with the leaves in our bed
make the sheets all rough
I am much too tough
on you
I didn't mean it
I didn't mean what I said
Now I can't eat my food turns to gravel
to sediment
I miss your mouth
what I'd give to taste that now
I didn't mean it
I didn't mean what I said
Should've just held my tongue
nodded.
But my hands were full
and my chain link words came out shaking so hard
they rattled.

Now tell me you’ve never felt this way.
And after you’ve heard the music tell me you don’t like it :-p

As good news usually come with not so good ones: Hurts to Purr no longer exist.

I haven’t written in a while here and the excuse I’ve been giving myself is my lack of time. The problem is I’ve been on vacation since the middle of February so my excuse is at least ridiculous. Then I came out with another excuse, this time much plausible, the excuse was that every time I had an idea to write something here, that text would probably hurt someone I know.
The reality is that that excuse has a point. I’ve been putting the blame of all the bad things that have been happening to me on others. In fact I’ve even been blaming others for things that didn’t happen and could only have happened if I was more objective and less undecided.
But as I’ve focused once in this blog I tend to write here only when I’m felling down, when something not so good happens to me or when I realise that I should made a different decision. So while thinking about it I thought: Today I’m not felling down, in fact what I’m feeling is quite the opposite, and I decided: I’m going to write more in the blog. I have a million ideas to put here, but lately I just formulate the text on my mind and when it’s completed I just erase it from my mind.
When I started this blog a few years ago I had two objectives:
- Practise my English;
- Write a little about what I though
It seems that in the last few (or not so few) months I’ve accomplished neither. I’ll try to change it!